On February 6, 2004 at 12:30 pm, Nikki crossed over the Rainbow Bridge.  Michael and I had been very preoccupied the past several months focusing our loving attention and care toward our dog, Nikki.  His passing comes as a shock to many.  He was suffering silently with severe arthritis in his spine and had developed a mass on his spleen.  Nikki was 11 years old and lived a beautiful long life with us.  The events leading up to yesterday came quickly for him and he was not made to suffer another moment of pain.

We are ever grateful for this beautiful being's incredible love.  He touched many lives with his wisdom and love.  Many times Nikki appeared to my clients during Guided Imagery sessions.  Nikki made sure to be a part of every sacred puja in which we were involved.  Nikki assisted me during my own personal spiritual journey and I was entirely blessed he came with me after my first marriage ended.  I was constantly cared for, nurtured, protected and loved by Nikki every step of the way.

I must say, words cannot express the depth of our loss but we do know he is with us in spirit form, his beautiful shining higher self radiating in every corner of our lives.  We see him always in our memory, our minds eye, and our hearts.

At the moment of Nikki's passing, Michael was gifted with an amazing experience:  He looked up to see Nikki standing behind me while I was crying and holding his furry body.  Curious, he walked around to sniff his physical body, looked up right into Michael's eyes and laughed.  Michael said Nikki's etheric body was very much like his physical form but luminous and radiant.

He said when he heard Nikki laughing it was like a series of rhythmic pulsating light emanations (poorly copied down here on earth as the laughter we know from human's throats)  He saw Christ standing behind Nikki waiting.  He saw Archangels Michael and Gabrielle also.  The four went away then, off into the west, into the Light together; Nikki joyous and very much alive.  This experience gave Michael a deep sense of joy, understanding, and peace of mind.

We continue now to see Nikki and experience him and know we all have been deeply blessed to be touched in our lives by this extraordinary being called "Nikki".  I have always said "Dog" is "God" spelled backwards.  Dogs are mirrors of Creator's unconditional love for us.

Love,
Deidre & Michael   

Months later I adopted a beautiful brown and tan German Shepherd pup (Hugo Vom Leerburg) from Leerburg Kennels (excellent breeder) in Wisconsin.  Nikki came into my life at seven weeks of age.  He was flown in via Delta Airlines.  He was a beautiful ball of brown fur and tiny sharp teeth, floppy brown ears.  He looked like a big fuzzy teddy bear and I snuggled him into my big down coat the whole way home from the airport ... what a beautiful memory.  He was a brave little guy, travelling all that way at such a young age.  I knew then I had a friend for life.  I spent many joyful years obedience, Schutzhund and protection training Nikki.  Local NBC news had us on as examples of dog training for protection through our great trainer, Howie Shucart, a thorough, consistent trainer and, Nikki was an excellent student.

As a pup, I took Nikki everywhere to socialize him both with humans and with other dogs.  From all this training he became the most well-trained and well-mannered dog I have ever experienced anywhere.  He was the example for other dog owners around us.  He showed people how they too can trust German Shepherd dogs to be even-tempered and true to their beautiful natures as beings of love, honor and respect.  In his way, Nikki was a way-shower to many people.  He transformed lives with his presence. Nikki loved to chase squirrels and balls.  A 250+ year old backyard tree housed squirrels and birds.  He would charge this tree, jump and lean against it, barking at the squirrels to "Come down from there!" Once, he actually caught a squirrel in his mouth, taking him by surprise.  He was equally startled at the squirming, clawing squirrel in his mouth and promptly dropped it.  It whisked back up the tree to safety unharmed.  That was the very last squirrel Nikki ever caught.  From that moment on, he realized he merely wanted to chase and tree them; not eat them. Yeah!

For years, Nikki remained my strongest support system in deeply sad times when I was in some of the worst inner pain of my life (i.e., not being true to self) as my anchor and guide. What an incredible friend! 1998 was the most transitory year of my life.  Nearly all the worst stresses imagined became reality.  After my first marriage ended; however, Nikki came with me to live in my new home in the city (a beautiful three-story, restored, historic brownstone) where our whole lives changed forever.  For the first two weeks, he adjusted by remaining in that house upon my bed (our wolf den or lair). Bless his heart.  Soon, however, Nikki loved our home and den; and the fenced backyard's abundant trees and squirrels.  It was here where I truly began my spiritual path back to myself, and back to God.  Nikki and I began to attend spiritual gatherings, sweat lodges, powwows, and retreats.  At powwows, Nikki and I would sit on our blanket amidst tribal dancers wearing their beautiful regalia, fry bread vendors, pottery and jewelry artists, and enjoy the sacredness and reconnection. Nikki and I began to gather a loving, spiritual family, our Ammi Shaddai, who were completely supportive of our path - feeling we were beginning to see pieces of a great puzzle forming before our eyes.

In August '99, in Taos, New Mexico, we experienced another sacred event ... a week-long gathering of healers.  We met and learned from many healers (some of the greatest and most loving healers I have yet to meet to date).  Nikki and I stayed in a round house and enjoyed the nightly sweat lodges; Nikki remaining outside the lodge awaiting my emergence listening to the coyotes and wolves howling in the moonlight.  Everyone there met Nikki and recognized his inner and outer beauty, wisdom and intelligence. They saw in his soul and were touched deeply by his complete devotion and love for me.  It was a tremendous time of peace and inner growth.

By December, I sold and said goodbye to our city home and moved to the country ... one of the best gifts I could ever offer Nikki. We now lived in southern Missouri where I rented a home in Van Buren on the Current River amidst the Mark Twain National Forest. We were both entirely free to be ... in this lush beauty.  I took advantage of the opportunity to be a hermit and get to know myself for the first time in my life.  Nikki was free to come and go as he pleased. 

An elderly dog (Ratchet) lived in our home which I was to tend; and they quickly became friends.  We took walks along the lake and river, forest trails and woods, warmed ourselves by the massive wraparound stone fireplace, listened to packs of coyotes, wolves, and dogs howling at the full moon, heard owls hooting in the dark, watched eagles and hawks by day, and deer walking thru the morning mists.  We were blissfully alone for the first time in our lives and felt joyously free.  It was by far the best time of our lives.  I experienced far more spiritual growth than ever and frequented healer gatherings, sweat lodge, medicine wheels, and drumming circles.  I encourage everyone to be alone in a beautiful place just once ... for a few months ... to be alone ... to be free ... to be.

It was also here where I awoke to my true divine higher aspect ... like the bang of a gong struck suddenly! (Click here for story)   Nikki was the sole (physically present) experiencer of my awakening, my awareness of Divine Self, on January 3, 2000.  It was an honor and privilege to have Nikki with me at my moment of great understanding where my heart opened and flooded with the Light of Lights and every cell and fiber of my being burst forth into cosmic Divine Light.  Since this awakening and my subsequent re-alignment with my veiled self, my life once again began to take yet another turn.

In March 2000, I met my wonderful Twin Ray, Michael, from Denmark through my website on the internet. We were engaged over the internet and two months of magick later he and his father arrived in the States.  Cosmically written in the stars, I could experience no greater marriage union joy in my life than meeting my divine other half.  As Nikki's gift to Michael ... his dog allergy fear gave way to the Divine Plan and he remained allergy-free around Nikki. We were both amazed but then we remembered ... Nikki is a powerful being of Light; hence, wonderful magic happens.

Michael and Nikki quickly became extremely close.  It was as if Nikki had been waiting for Michael for a long time and now that he was here he could relax.In July, Michael and I formally married outside the town's courthouse in their quaint front  yard. Our pastor (part time local used car salesman) came across the street and married us in ten minutes on his lunch hour. Nikki was our Best Man. An angel friend of mine, Michael's father, and the birds in the trees overhead were our sole witnesses ... along with Ascended Masters, Angelic Guides, Christ and the Holy Spirit, that is.  We made a beautiful trinitized force with the addition of Nikki's energies.

By August I sold my belongings and the four of us drove to Colorado following Michael's father's invention dream.  We discovered great truths along the way and while we were able to strengthen ourselves as a twin ray couple, we also had to let go of ties with Michael's father who remained behind on our trip.  Blessed angelic forces continued to surround us.  On our own, Nikki, ever the spiritual protector, became fatally ill in Denver.  Nikki recuperated from the animal hospital's life-saving operation. Now homeless, we then found ourselves on our Cherokee friend's doorstep on their Missouri reservation. They took us to their friend's where we stayed on as farm hands for the next ten months.  Nikki, always the perfect gentleman, also grew to win their hearts as he did everyone's.

Nikki recovered his health and romped and played on their farm.  We were fed well and began to re balance our lives with their loving help and support, becoming dear friends with them to this day. Sunday Morning's were spent in the living room with church of Christ members singing songs and reading scripture.  During our farm chores our little trooper remained by our side.

Also during that time, we were married (again) but this time in the Chickamauga Cherokee tradition, a year later September solstice before their sacred Fire. Once again, Nikki was our Best Man while Paint, the Medicine Man and our dear friend, officiated the beautiful ceremony. Finally, in our own home in the small farming town of Cabool, Nikki chased the local squirrels on our daily walks around town; he continued to be with us as we grew along our spiritual path, aligning and re-aligning ourselves to be in sync with one another.  Then, through a gift from my brother, we visited him and his family in Florida for a real vacation.

When we arrived in Florida, Nikki was welcomed by my beautiful family with open arms and huge hearts. He of course won the hearts of them all.  My nephew really took to Nikki and when I saw their bonding I felt so happy that some members of my family were connecting with my own life in some way.  We had a wonderful time with our family who warmly welcomed Michael, now finally meeting my path-supporting family.  We took Nikki to his first doggy park "Fleet Peeple's Park" - with dogs playing in the lake.  Every day of our vacation we took Nikki to this park to enjoy the other dogs, run and have fun.

We were overcome by Sedona's beauty. Nikki adjusted well to the environment and we spent many days hiking the beautiful trails through the red rocks.  He was happy wherever we were.  There are no squirrels here and absolutely no grass which was quite sad for Nikki but we played a lot of ball and took adventure hikes.  We also held drumming circles in our home, went to earth dance ceremony, and spent a lot of time getting to know this vivid country.  However, more and more Nikki began to struggle and about a year-and-a-half later, we had to help him up into the car.  His walks became briefer, and he began to fall and struggle more and more. He is such a Love! 

Nikki is now eleven years old and only wants to be snuggled and loved.  That's all.  Just that.  Nothing else mattered.  When we went out for dinner the other night for Michael's birthday ... we came home and Michael hurried over to be with Nikki, took one look at him and exclaimed, "He was scared!  He was alone here and he was scared!"   We knew he was afraid of dying without us being here. This past February 6, 2004, I sat with Nikki for the longest time.  I told him we were going to take him to the vet for X-rays and maybe he wouldn't be coming home again.  I asked him if I could snip some of his beautiful brown hair for us to keep as a memento of his lovely fur coat.  He watched me as I did this.  I knew he knew I was preparing.  He and I remained this way all morning, just sitting together in silence and prayer.  Later we took him for x-rays which showed severe arthritis in his spine causing tremendous pain, an enlarged heart, and a baseball-size growth on his spleen.  Nikki is a strong dog.  We knew what we had to do for his sake.  We had to have him put to sleep.

I slept with Nikki's blanket over me every night, sniffing the blanket, hoping for one more chance to smell his precious smell.  I hold the medicine bag between my hands and thank God I have some of his hair.  I miss holding him and hugging him, smelling the smell of his fur (wet or dry it didn't matter) and the smell of his "Fritos corn chip" feet.  But mostly I miss his spirit and soul.  Please come back, Nikki, soon.  We love you and miss you so much.

Nikki helped up through so many struggles.  He protected us.  He showed us how to open our hearts more fully than we ever imagined we could.We honor and thank him for every moment, every step of the way he was willing to be with us.  What a blessing he is.  What a blessing to be in his company. Many times Nikki was a Light on our path for we were both struggling to learn and grow as a couple, especially a Twin Ray couple.  Nikki carried so much Wolf/Teacher energy, many times people thought he either was a wolf or was part wolf.  We recognized this to be true within his spirit and soul.

After Nikki's passing we received many loving memorials from friends near and far   Nikki was so well loved and everyone remembered him and his beautiful spirit  As I said in Our Story above, in his way, Nikki was a way-shower to many people  He transformed lives with his presence   We honor each one of these beautiful messages from friends of Nikki   SPECIAL NOTE:  If you have personally known Nikki and would like to have a memorial added, feel free to email me and I'll be happy to do so  ... tween@tween.org

Nikki had been very helpful in assisting obedience training our friend's wolf cubs. He helped another friend overcome her lifelong fear of large dogs. He helped bring people joy in local nursing homes. He was a friend to cats and dogs, farm animals, and squirrels. He was an inspiration to so many because so many saw the divine Light being, the absolutely evolved being that he was and still is. Here then, we share some of Nikki's friend's loving and beautiful memorial messages ...

Bereavement Psalm
Words are so futile at a time like this, but these have brought me comfort when I have lost an animal: "For every beast of the forest is Mine, and the cattle upon a thousand hills." "I know and am acquainted with all the birds of the mountains and the wild animals of the field are Mine and are with Me and in my Mind."

Then the Lord showed me that Man is the custodian and caretaker of His animals while they are on the earth - then they return unto Him. - Psalms 50:10-11 

I am writing this letter through my tears.  When I get into my e-mail in the morning I always scan down to see who has sent e-mail that day. When I saw yours with the subject Nikki I froze. I didn't even know he was ill ... yet I know you were going to tell me he had passed on.  I could not open this e-mail at first. I did not want to hear that he was gone, and when I did read that Nikki had indeed moved on the tears would not stop. Your loss is our loss we mourn with you.  Nikki was one of my teachers - 
I don't know if you remember, but I did not like big dogs until I met Nikki ... he taught me not to be afraid ... that not all big dogs are mean -- remember how gentle he was with Sammy? How could anyone not love that dog.  I never though for one minute that I would be crying my eyes out over a big dog, but Nikki was never just another big dog ... he was kind, gentle, and loving (just like you guys)  I do rejoice in the fact that he is no longer in pain and that he is with the Creator and that he is happy.   For Nikki God Bless Nikki and Good bless both of you ... all our love. Betty, Scott, Joe and Sammy

NIKKI'S BIRTHDAY DECEMBER 26, 1992, CAPRICORN

Nikki was born a Capricorn and Cappy's take their jobs seriously.  Nikki took his job of guarding the Momma very seriously, but he loved to play and had a very high prey drive.

More serious and deliberate than most, it's likely that the Capricorn pet will live to a ripe old age. Why? Well, for one thing, there's no risk-taking behavior going on with this conservative creature. The Capricorn pet will plod along, amusing itself by watching the other animals as they play to their heart's content.  What keeps this animal happy is helping out and working hard. Need that paper fetched? The Cap dog will do it daily.  Want those barnyard animals to stay in lock step? The Cap horse will see to it that everyone stays together.

Stable and serene, the Cap pet will appreciate a comfortable home and a happy family.  These animals won't need much exercise, either -- for them, work is exercise! This is an animal who really loves to feel needed, so don't be reluctant to dole out those chores.  Very self-controlled, the Cap pet is easy to house-train and will know the importance of following the family rules.  Self-reliant as well, this is a pet who will do just fine back home while Mom, Dad and the kids take a family trip.  While the Cap pet doesn't need much physical affection, it does like to be neat and clean, so brush this pet regularly.  Watch their bones and teeth, too, as these areas may require special attention.  Thank you to http://family.astrology.com/petsCapricorn.html

IN LOVING MEMORY OF ...
Natan "Nickie" Busecker Schloss, Sch III FH KK1a,
Nikki's biological father

Retired Leerburg Stud Dog - died 1-5-97.  Interestingly, our Nikki crossed over one month and one day ... 7 years later on 2-6-04. Nickie was my breeder, (Ed Frawley's), faithful companion, best friend, and may have been one of his finest breeding dogs.  He also worked for the local Police Force helping "apprehend escaped cons and all around bad guys."  My own dog, Nikki (Nickie's son) is very much like his father.  I am grateful to Nickie for his life and love and only wished that I had met him directly, but every day I am with my Nikki, I feel I have.  Our Nikki's own name is short for, "Nicholaevich" which in Russian means, "son of Nickie". My deepest thoughts and prayers are with Ed Frawley and the temporary loss of his BeLoved friend, Nickie. May their heavenly reuniting be sweet and the time prior be eased through the strength of God. - Deidre

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride.  They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well." 

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."  And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.  And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the  supreme beings.  And Adam and Eve learned humility.   And they were greatly improved.  And God was pleased. And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a darn one way or the other. 
The End